Secrets, Secrets… ARE KILLING ME!

Secrets, Secrets… ARE KILLING ME!

This past week I had to travel to Vancouver for work. It was awful! I really didn’t want to go, so I had gotten myself all worked up. I didn’t sleep the night before my flight. By the time I got to Vancouver I was so exhausted I was physically ill. I spent the whole night in bed having panic attacks, thinking I was hurting the baby by traveling. I woke up on Tuesday feeling much better. It was a bit tricky to hide that I wasn’t drinking all week. I had a lot of club soda with lime. Since I usually drink vodka sodas, I don’t think anyone noticed. Thursday night I had to fly home again. When I finally got to the house Friday mid-day, I was feeling sick again. This exhaustion is no joke! I spent most of the afternoon napping and then went to bed early.

test

I’m still nervous A LOT, but each day I gain a little bit of confidence. I haven’t had much nausea, if any. I get occasional cramping and my boobs are KILLING me. My skin, which broke out when I first got pregnant is clearing up on my face and my back. Hopefully that means peanut is a boy!

The secret is killing me. I want to tell everyone, but I’m determined to wait until we get our first ultrasound in a few weeks. I know that once I hear that little heartbeat and see peanut in there, I’ll feel 1,000 times better. I’m starting to think about how we’ll tell people and I’m reading lots on how to save money and what to register for. I’m not ready to buy anything or start taking progress pictures yet. I somehow feel like it’s bad luck. I can’t wait for that feeling to pass!

5W+2D – Baby is the size of an orange seed

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OMG: The BFP!

OMG: The BFP!

We found out we are pregnant today, although I already knew. My body could tell something was different from only a couple days after I ovulated. I was cramping and having wild dreams and my hair and boobs seemed to grow overnight. But I think Erik was still a little skeptical. This was our first month trying. What were the odds?

Last night, this wave of exhaustion and nausea hit around 7pm. I couldn’t stand to be upright and went to bed early. I had trouble sleeping again. At 4:11am I quit trying to sleep and started flipping through my phone. I wanted so badly to test, but I also wanted to do it with Erik. I knew his alarm went off at 6:30, so I waited and waited.

A few minutes before, I got up and took the test. I laid it flat on my vanity and got back in bed just as Erik’s alarm was going off. I told him I took the test and he asked me what it said. I told him I didn’t know, that I hadn’t checked it. He told me to get it without looking and bring it back to bed. So I did. And there it was.

pregnant2

I honestly wasn’t shocked when I saw it. More reassured that I wasn’t crazy and making up all the wild things my body had been feeling, like the constant bubbles in my abdomen! I expected Erik to freak out or have zero emotion, but he was actually happy! He came downstairs later while I was getting his lunch together and he actually said “I’m pretty proud of myself, to be honest, one shot!”

I am feeling OK so far today. Just a lot of bloating where I imagine my uterus must be (LOL!!) and I have to pee all the timeee. I called the Dr. to set up an appointment for our first ultrasound. That was surreal. I’m being a bit cautious in my optimism, because I know that it’s still SO early and we have a long way to go, but I’m so hopeful that this will be a sticky bean and the most amazing birthday present!

3W+5D – Baby is smaller than a Poppy Seed!