Hi There, Little Guy! 

Hi There, Little Guy! 

Quick update on our growth ultrasound! 

Just as a recap, I was measuring “a little small” at my 24 week appointment. This is my first baby so we aren’t sure if this is just how I carry, or if I make small babies, so out of an abundance of caution, my midwife decided to do an ultrasound at my 28 weeks appointment to make sure that there are no growth restrictions and baby is on track. 

I showed up to my appointment to find out that the AC in the building was broken, so it was a bit of a sweaty appointment, but otherwise, pleasantly uneventful! 

Baby A is measuring 28+3 in length which is about 4 days ahead. They recorded his weight as 2lb8oz which puts him in the 45th percentile. My midwife said 50th is the target for a 7.5lb baby at delivery, but anything between 40-60 is considered on track. My fluid levels were “great,” and the cord looked good. No concerns on growth restriction. I have another appointment at 31 weeks where they will measure me. If I am still small, they may aim for one more growth ultrasound to make sure he is still 45th or higher. Otherwise, the next time we see him may be the delivery room! 😳😍


Oh and I was right! He did flip. Baby is head down, looking into my body. Bum up. He occasionally does something that feels like a full body stretch where I can feel his feet extend way up into my ribcage and what may be hands pushing down into my left hip. So fun lol! 

I had my first chiropractor appointment this afternoon for my sciatica. They mostly did massage and taught me stretches I can do at home to help. Hoping for the best, but also expecting this to last til the end. Oh well, at least I’m on vacation next week! 

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Fist Bump from Pork Chop

Fist Bump from Pork Chop

This morning I had an internal ultrasound to check my cervical length. When the tech finished she said, “OK, let’s see this little guy,” and I froze. I told Erik this was internal only and we wouldn’t get to see pork chop. I told him not to bother coming to this appointment because we’d see him in a couple weeks at the anatomy scan. So while what followed was amazing and magical (FINALLY!) and I cried the good tears, I was AGAIN wracked with guilt because Erik wasn’t there. Crap crap crap I suck. But look how cute he is!

While my nausea and acne are starting to fade a little, I’ve welcomed a new symptom this week: hip pain! Owwww. It’s so bad I have trouble sleeping. I’m trying to sleep on my side, since in a few short weeks back sleeping will be forbidden, but it is terrible. I’ve ordered a pregnancy pillow off of Amazon and I’m trying to see if that will help ease the pain a little. My midwife also told me today that I can sleep on my back if I put a pillow under one hip. She said this will shift the main weight of my uterus off to the side and prevent any issues. She said the hip pain may lessen as he moves up in my abdomen, but while he continues to sit low in my pelvis, the pressure is going to cause this pain. YAY!

17W+3D  – Baby is the size of a turnip

The First Ultrasound!

The First Ultrasound!

We had our first ultrasound today. Let me pause for a second and tell you that if I haven’t given the impression already, I plan to keep it VERY real in this blog. Good. Bad. Ugly. OK, back on topic: first ultrasound. Being so early, and so anxious about what could go wrong, I haven’t felt very pregnant. I do not feel like a tiny human is growing in my womb. Sick? Sure. Exhausted? Absolutely. Pregnant? Nope. But I knew in my heart of hearts, that all of that was going to change today. I was going to lay back on that table, and see my little peanut on the screen, and hear that little heartbeat, and my heart would explode with happiness and I would cry, and there would be this moment of magic, and maybe even harps or something.

Spoiler alert: None of that happened. Now most of my friends have had children, so I was warned about the red hot poker (internal ultrasound for those who haven’t had the pleasure). But none of the warnings really prepared me for coming face to face with that thing. It’s no joke.

To start, my tech made a joke about how she’s been doing this so long she doesn’t even need to look. Fast forward .2 seconds to me yelping and whispering, “wrong… North please.” While it got slightly more comfortable from there, it was not comfortable. In addition, peanut looked like a smudge. I couldn’t tell what was baby and what was yolk sac. There was no sound, so I couldn’t hear a heartbeat, but I could see a flicker on the screen. 146 bpm. It was cool, but I didn’t feel that magic. I just felt so uncomfortable. She needed to measure my entire uterus so she just kept waving that wand around. There were almost tears, but they were not the kind I thought they would be.

Erik came along. He was great. Very supportive and inquisitive too. He was asking lots of questions and taking pictures of the screen for me.

ultrasound

We drove to the appointment separately so he could head to work while I went in to chat with the midwife for a while. That meant my ride home was a solo one, and it was also filled with guilt. Here I am, so incredibly lucky. I got pregnant on my first try. I made it to my first appointment and there is a beating heart. I am growing a human being inside of me, and all I felt on that table was discomfort. Let the mom guilt begin.

I know I’m being too hard on myself. And part of me is still trying not to get too attached, just in case. I know that I’m not some bad, evil person. But I know that so many women walk into that appointment filled with optimism and leave heartbroken. Why wasn’t I more ecstatic? Why wasn’t there magic and awe.

I guess I just have to accept that everyone is different. Everyone experiences pregnancy differently. Everyone deals with fear and anxiety differently. I can only experience my journey, and I can’t compare it to anyone else’s.

On a more positive note, I mentioned to my midwife that while I haven’t actually thrown up, I am nauseous all day and hate the sight of all food and have lost three pounds. She gave me a prescription for Diclegis and told me to start taking one at bedtime and it should relieve my nausea so I can eat again. Oh happy day!

7W+3D – Baby is the size of a blueberry